Last week I was having a difficult time with my ALD students. Many were not getting along and they were going after each other. I have had a few students difficult to manage, but now I was having a few students target each other. And the fault was lying squarely with me.
I had a community meeting with norms and asked the group: “What can be done so people get along?” They came up with 1. Have more fun, games and activities. 2. Mutual Respect: a list of NOT rules: no capping on each other, no calling each other names, etc, and 3 Caring for each other—helping each other out, knowing each other. The process went OK, but I came to a fundamental insight: it is all about relationships.
Instead of a group of people working towards a common goal we were antagonizing each other which was depletive (teacher v student, students v students): Not all students but enough to warrant a reappraisal of the dysfunction in the classroom. Either we work together or we work against each other.
It is the same in our relationships with our staff. Tribes says a group of people need to feel inclusion in order to have influence to go to community. It is not only a process of forming relationships with staff and students but of providing structures that allow the relationships to build. I need to build on those relationships.
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