Perhaps

© Hector Lee, 2010

Perhaps the challenges we face are preparations for strengthening courage, fortifying resolve and acquiring inner power in ways that are not discernable my present periphery. My inability to sleep soundly this year is shared with others in positions of more responsibility. It is the cost of growing up, of this generation’s responsibility to take the reins of service and leadership. We cannot expect the older generation to continue to be in charge; eventually they will expect younger hands and fresher minds to take up the cause. “Be a principal,” I am told.

Perhaps the limitations we face are actually blessings of encountering truth in our lives, of recognizing what we do not know or do not know how to do. It allows us to seek others for help and to be learners. It is the blessing of humility.

Perhaps the discipline issues with our African-American students at Flynn happen to be a result of their being the neediest students, and we, the adults, have failed to attend to those needs. We may be depleted and ill-equipped, but we can address if it we want to, if we are courageous enough, if we are given the space and time to reflect. Or perhaps they happen to be the most resilient, savvy and intelligent, but we have failed to recognize it and interpret behavior as deficient. Again and again, despite the other obligations of education, we must never forget the first principle: building the relationships with the students and families we serve. So it pains me to leave the issue as yet unresolved. Going to another site, I will have to come back to it another day.

So as I leave for another school I leave a network of relationships I have built up over seventeen years. And I grieve for that loss. But I must trust that the inner voice calling for change will lead a place of generative service and satisfaction.